Remember
the feelings you are experiencing now are a normal reaction to a traumatic
event.
All women are different: the paths you take will be your own.
Some things will work for you and some things will not. You might want
to talk with someone you trust or a support worker about your feelings
and ways to feel stronger, safer and 'normal' again.
Here are some suggestions:
It
is important to remember that you did not deserve to be raped.
At some point you may feel like doing something practical.
Taking self-defence classes can be very helpful. Self-defence is more
than learning how to defend yourself physically. As women, our conditioning
teaches us to be unassertive and physically weak, rather than confident
and strong.
Learning physical skills can make a difference in the way you feel.
It can give you a sense of greater control over your body and your environment.
You might want to learn some meditation, yoga or relaxation techniques.
On the other hand you may want to learn a martial art, throw yourself
into heavy gardening, do sport, take an art class or any other activity.
Talking to someone you trust can be useful. Joining a support group
for women who have experienced rape may also be of great benefit. You
deserve to be listened to and supported.
Talking with supportive people may help you to make sense of what has
happened to you. This understanding may in turn help to alleviate feelings
of self-blame, alienation and fear. Only you know how you feel, but
many women have had similar experiences.
By sharing our stories and listening to others, we can support each
other to feel stronger and safer.
You may like to try writing a list of things when you are feeling bad,
fearful or despairing. Your list might look something like this:
1 Breathe.
2 Acknowledge
what I am feeling now.
3 Remind myself
that these feelings will pass
4 Go to my safe
place.
5 Remind myself
it's not my fault.
5 Hug a pillow.
6 Breathe.
7 Ring someone
I trust (write the phone number on the list).
8 Have a hot bath.
9 Breathe.
